Not chapter 44

I really liked these chapters and i found it had a lot to do with my research paper. In Chapter 46 why I decided to become an infidel, she describes how she got over her need for Allah and its something that i found with some of the people I’ve been researching. They find it so hard to let go either because of fear or because it’s just something that’s been part of their life for so long that they cant actually part with. For instance, in my research, i found that these people would rather ask for help from demons in what they already know than to just give it up completely. It’s quite terrifying to think that these people are experiencing such an extreme form of Stockholm syndrome, and from such an early age. Telling a kid to believe or burn in hell is horrifying honestly, that kind of terror kept me believing for a lot longer than it should.

I also found the argument for a fundamentalist atheist was pretty hilarious.  Like there isn’t any real argument for it and there isn’t a true middle ground. I also feel like that’s not really the fault of the Athiest, I feel like religion is more of an edge where you cant really just hang out there, you’re either on it or your not. Kinda familiar tightrope: hell or not you know? And relating to my story it was really anger that drove me i had never been super religious but when i was little i did pray every night to make my mom happy. I only prayed that God keep my family safe and if anything had to happen i prayed that it happen to me. So in return when my aunt got cancer and my father died, i was angry i was super pissed, i had never asked for money or fame or anything crazy like some people might and in return all i got was a giant fuck you. And my only thoughts where either hes not here or he is and doesn’t care, for the latter i said that’s fine if you won’t care about me then i won’t spend my entire life groveling for no reason.  I never understood the idea that tragedy brought people closer to God when i was so quick to feel betrayed and angered. What kind of all kowing all caring father kills of the people you love to get you closer to to him?

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